Appreciation is one of the greatest magic tools we have in our bags of tricks. One of the best ways to gauge where you are at in your development as a wonderful spiritual magician – able to weave magic in and out of your own life, is how well you use appreciation. Most mere mortals think that appreciation is a spontaneous event or feeling that simply “happens” from time to time. Maybe they recognize it when it comes over them. Maybe they feel lucky. But most of the time, they hardly notice. Appreciation is really a passing thought. By failing to even acknowledge the magic of appreciation mere mortals stay just that, mere mortals.

Move up the ladder, and you have the mortals that have learned the value of appreciation and seek it out. They realize that appreciation is powerful and look for opportunities to cultivate it or bask in its warmth; they kind of chase appreciation around. These more enlightened souls know that everything looks lovelier in the light of appreciation kind of like faces always look more beautiful by candle light.

However, a true master of their own experience knows that appreciation is a magical tool that can be harnessed and directed at will. One can feel appreciation anytime they want by recalling a happy experience and raise their vibration. One can change the feeling in a room of people by bathing the room in appreciation. One can take any situation they want to change or transform and magically turn it around with appreciation.

Anna and her husband were having a lot of problems. They had only been married about a year. What had been a blissful courtship had turned into a cold and bitter marriage in what seemed like record time. The day to day chaos of life had taken Anna by surprise. However, when she finally took stock of what was happening, she knew immediately, as a magician what she needed to do.

Anna went on a full rampage of appreciation for her husband Marcus. She appreciated the heck out of him all the time. She told him about it as often as she could. However, more importantly she thought about all the things she appreciated about him with a dogged obsession. I was talking to her a few days ago and she broke out a list of things that she appreciated about him that she carried with her everywhere in her purse. Since she had begun her rampage of appreciation three weeks ago, she reported that her marriage was night and day. She felt like the honeymoon was back. Anna was seeing changes in Mark that she didn’t even anticipate and learning new things to appreciate about him everyday.

We are all that magical when we put appreciation to the test. Appreciation used as a tool and not just a random passing feeling can turn your world around and always for the better. Put it to the test for yourself and see what miracles you can conjure up for yourself.

I sat in a home owners association meeting a few nights ago struggling with all my might to keep my mouth shut. My home owners association has a reputation for being particularly nasty. Simply put, we don’t get along. There are more competing interests in that room then there are different colors of houses on the street. When you get all of us in a room, it’s fire works, or unfortunately, sometimes, it’s mortar fire. However, the longer I sat quietly, the easier it got. As I listened to everyone “talk” one thing became clearly obvious to me. Everyone one who sat in that room believed with conviction they were absolutely right and everyone of them, all seventeen believed something different.

As the fevered pitch of arguing escalated, the level of logic deteriorated. However, no one backed down. Each individual clung on to their opinion as if their life depended on it and nothing got accomplished. Nothing that is except more discord and neighborhood angst then before. At the end of the meeting all I could think was that really although no one agreed, really no one, at least in their own minds was wrong. Each of them was absolutely right.

Judgment and the ego and fast bedfellows. The ego needs judgment to hold itself together. Ego constantly has to say, that’s right, and that’s wrong – otherwise interpreted as I’m right and your wrong. It’s a subconscious thought process we do all day everyday. However, the truth is, it’s exhausting. You should have seen everyone walking out of that meeting. They were worn completely out. Downtrodden and depressed, they all took their files and papers and drug themselves back to their corners of the neighborhood. Defending their own opinions with all of that passion didn’t really feel that great. Although everyone got a chance to be heard, no one really understood, and no one won.

One of the highest forms of surrender is letting go of the need to identify or judge things and others as right or wrong. Sometimes things are just as they are. Being able to accept circumstances, opinions, and surroundings as they are without labeling them is the ultimate definition of zen. However, even more importantly, when we quit judging right and wrong so much, we release a tremendous amount of energy that we have spent holding on tight to and defending our opinions.

Try it for a week and see how much bliss you unleash on your world. Simply adopt a practice of refusing to judge things, people, or circumstances, as right or wrong. Start by considering the words right and wrong extreme and working towards eliminating them from your vocabulary. You’ll be surprised by the rewards you reap for adopting a lighter, less judgmental attitude.

For most of us finding the energy to just get through the day can be a challenge. Sometimes the best read of the zen-o-meter is whether or not the activity or emotion we are engaging in throughout the day nurtures our energy or drains it. For example, playing with the kids in the park, makes you feel more alive. Fighting your way through the grocery store, drains the life blood out of you. When you get out of bed you only have so much energy to get through the day. Many things will come at you that you have no control over. So this month we will explore controlling one emotional habit that is guaranteed to drain your soul. Learning to master this beast will leave you with more energy for you to spend the way you want.

Judgment never feels good. Often we do it subconsciously without giving it a second thought. However, most of the time it’s a very conscious act. Most popular psychology holds that we judge to make ourselves feel better; That by judging others we somehow feel superior to them. Most ancient spiritual traditions hold that we judge to separate ourselves one from another. No matter why we do it, or how we do it either blatantly, silently, or in the form of gossip, judgment drains your spirit and leaves your energy lower then it needs to be.

A few nights ago I was standing in my son’s room as he was talking on the phone ignoring my presence. It wasn’t that he didn’t know I was there, he had simply made the choice not not notice me. He was ignoring me because it was easier to do that then to acknowledge he had not done the dishes or his homework. Needless to say, I was having some escalating judgment and although I felt particularly righteous in my position, it didn’t feel good. After several minutes of my heated glare he finally succumbed and to my evil eye and as he begrudgingly hung up the phone he bid his friend, “Aloha”.

It made me laugh. Earlier in the day I had been studying a book about the Huna philosophy. One of the tenants of the Huna philosophy, which is a Hawaiian spiritual tradition, is Aloha, which means, to love is to be happy with. There I stood, trying to stay mad, but well reminded of Aloha – meaning that in order to love him – I had to be happy with him.

Judgment is such a downer. But to love is just the opposite. Having to remind yourself not to judge others~ downer. Staying in a spirit of unconditional love~ uplifting and energy building.

So, at the end of the evening, my son and I did the dishes together. He didn’t get his homework done. I did in fact have a moment of ah ha or better put, Aloha – to love was to be happy with. At the end of the day, that just felt better.

Spiritual traditions can seem so rigid. However, in the spirit of Aloha, the rule of thumb is almost decadent. When you can replace, having to avoid judgment, with the follow your bliss path of staying in love, everything becomes a little brighter, a little lighter. You free up a lot of energy to do things like grocery shop and dishes and take the dog for a walk…

So, what’s the motto?

It’s simple…
Aloha