Keep Your Story to Yourself
I have a very close friend who decided at the beginning of the year that her lifestyle choices were probably killing her. I have been so very proud of her for making some real, tangible, positive changes in her life the last several weeks. She’s eating right, she’s losing weight, she’s exercising. She has cut back on her drinking. She looks great and she feels great. Everything is fabulous except for one small little detail. Her husband, the love of her life, isn’t. He’s over indulging on all accounts. It’s making her crazy. Recently he had a “coughing fit” so bad that it caused him to lose consciousness – for just a moment – but passed out cold, just the same. She thought he was dead. He doesn’t...
How Bad Do You Want It?
When I get a new client, the first thing I have them do is write a description of their perfect, dream relationship in as much detail as possible. The first thing that strikes me is how hard this actually is for most people. Just like with many things in our lives, we often know what we don’t want, in many cases because we are living it. However, we rarely take the time to identify what we do want. After a great deal of thought I usually get a beautifully written, eloquent description of the dream relationship. They usually use words like passion, trust, love, excitement, connection… The kinds of things we all want. After assuring them that they can have that dream relationship, for sure, no doubt, I ask the question that usually sucks all the air...
Aloha – Learning to be Happy with Yourself
Shelly felt sick. As she sat at the table and watched all the people eating, talking, and having a good time, all she could think about was if anyone noticed how horrible and runny the stuffing was. Shelly’s mother in law had fallen off of a step-stool two weeks earlier and broken her wrist. This year, for the first time, Easter dinner, which was also celebrated as her father in laws birthday, was being done at Shelly’s house. At first it seemed like a great idea. When Allen, her husband, had suggested it as a great way to help his mother out, Shelly embraced the thought. However, as the day grew closer it became more and more overwhelming. Shelly was frustrated that Allen hadn’t recognized how hard she’d worked to prepare in advance and...
How to Help a Friend That Might Be a Victim of Domestic Abuse
Years and years ago I lived in the downstairs apartment of a row house. Our upstairs neighbors were the only people I knew in the neighborhood. Although I wouldn’t say we were best friends, I did interact with them quite a bit socially. I really liked both of them. He was this good old boy from the area whose mother kept all of us in lasagna and tuna noodle casserole. She was this vibrant, passionate, singer in a rock band, who was unbelievably beautiful, even when she had black eyes. I would hear them fighting at night. I knew he was hitting her. I never brought it up and neither did she. This continued right up to the night where in a drunken rage he threw her down the stairs. I could hear her on the other side of the wall at the bottom of the stairs...
How to Guarantee Online Dating Success
I met my fiancé on a dating site. Since that time, lots of my single friends think I’m the online dating expert. What surprises me about that is that most of these women were around for the years prior to meeting my Mr. Perfect when I met a pathological liar on Eharmony, a man I’m pretty sure was a serial killer on Match, and at least a half dozen married men. Now looking back on my experience and watching those experiences of my friends in the online dating world, what I observe most often is a silent desperation in women that makes the whole process incredibly heavy and serious. We are looking for Mr. Right and have a great deal of hope that every next guy is him. If we go out on three or four dates we giggle to our friends about our new boyfriend...
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