Silence Is Not So Golden
I hear it in all forms. “I’m afraid he’ll yell at me.” “I’m afraid he’ll be mad.” “I know if I do that he’ll shut me out.” “He always gets angry when I do that.” “I’m afraid he’ll embarrass me.” Angie was afraid to talk to Jim about his spending. She was certain it was out of control and was driving their family further and further into debt. She needed to address this with him. She wanted to talk about solutions. Problem was Angie was afraid he’d respond badly. So, instead of facing the issue head on, she sat by silently, complacently doing and saying nothing. When we talked about why she hadn’t discussed this with her husband...
My Husband Says He Isn’t Attracted to Me Anymore
Larenda ended her very long email by simply saying, “My husband told me he isn’t attracted to me anymore. I don’t know how to handle that. I feel like my marriage is falling down around me.” I’d like to say I can’t relate to that. However, I have been on the receiving end of that conversation and it is devastating. At first glance it feels like it’s all about not being good enough, for that other person. At second glance though, it’s something entirely different. Truth of the matter is, it’s never about how another person feels. When I went through a similar situation many years ago, I must admit to being completely deflated. I felt like I was never going to be good enough, for him, or anyone...
How to Get Happy – Really…
What if I could tell you how to guarantee your own personal happiness? What if you could burn all your self help books, and fire your guru? What if there really was a quick fix for what’s ailing your state of mind? Depression is epidemic in our society right now. Recent studies show that depression is spiking even higher then ever before due to economic stress. Studies also show that one of the most effective ways to combat stress is simply helping other people. Reaching out to help others is a very effective way to release all kinds of feel good chemicals in the brain, the very same chemicals that antidepressant drugs help the brain manufacture. Antidepressants are being prescribed at an alarming rate, and although I have absolutely nothing...
How to Unlock Your Inner Diva
Karen and Edwin had a baby two months ago. Ellie is maybe the most beautiful baby girl ever, but she doesn’t sleep. Karen’s Mom says it’s colic, the pediatrician says he doesn’t know. Karen is exhausted, overwhelmed, and thirty pounds over weight, and says most of the time she smells like poop. Karen and Edwin have made love exactly once since Ellie was born. It lasted six minutes and Karen fell asleep before the show was really even over. Karen confided in me she didn’t know which made her feel less sexy, the baby spit up, the poop smell, or the acne that had plagued her since her sixth month of pregnancy. Edwin’s long time Executive Assistant, Anne, also just had a baby. Her temporary replacement, who came on...
It’s My Birthday!
For many people the new year brings an opportunity to reflect on their lives and think about things they want to change or improve in the new year. For me that day of introspection in more like a couple of weeks. Today is my birthday. So, I reflect from the first to the nineteenth. It’s a lot of reflection. This year, I have several intentions. 2010 is the year that Lisa became a woman who exercises everyday. 2010 is the year I committed to a practice of disciplined meditation and ceremony. 2010 is the year I quit wearing my yoga cloths everywhere everyday – but started practicing yoga the way I know my body wants me to practice. All of that said, my theme for this year is to live in integrity regarding beliefs. For me that means this...
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