Arnold, Maria, and The Ripple in the Force
I’ve spent the better part of a week thinking about what to say regarding Arnold and Maria. I’ve been asked by just about every woman I know what I think about it. People have asked me about my thoughts partially because I spend a great number of my waking hours thinking and talking about relationships. Partially I’ve been asked because I had a marriage that ended with a husband who had multiple affairs. Mostly though, it comes up in conversation because I am a woman. When events like this happen it effects the force of all woman-kind. We all feel it. We all somehow feel wronged. It’s clear to me though that Arnold wasn’t the only one that did a no no here. It’s not popular to point out that there was another woman ...
Dating Should Begin at “I Do”
Check out my Expert Post on YourTango http://www.yourtango.com/experts/lisa-hayes/how-affair-proof-marriage
Osama bin Laden’s Death Turns Out to Be None of my Business.
Like many people, I felt something deeply uncomfortable at the news that Osama bin Laden had been killed. Mostly I felt ashamed that my country was celebrating. That said, I recognize that many others around the world were feeling a collective sense of relief. What this man did or didn’t do in his life, or whether or not this was “justice” is simply way above my human pay grade. That said, it happened. So no matter how politically or morally challenging this situation might be, it is what it is, he’s dead. Just like I believe that all things happen according to a divine plan, this too must be just as it was intended. Justice or no justice, it is what it is. Yesterday on a very long drive I cracked myself up with imagining the...
The Worst Time to Fight
Warning: The following statement may not make sense at first glance. The worst time to fight is when you’re angry. I know that might seem like a contradictory thought. However, when anger comes up it’s usually because there is an issue that needs addressing or a problem that needs solving. Anyone who’s ever had a fight, (which is pretty much anyone at all) knows the energy of anger itself is not conducive to problem solving. The best solutions just don’t flow from anger. Now I know there is a lot of pop psychology right now that talks a lot about expressing yourself, without holding back, and I’m all for that. However, I am a proponent of expression with a clear head at the right time, which is rarely in the red hot moment. Even if that angry...
What the People of Japan Need
As we all know, the people of Japan have been devastated by a natural event so powerful it will be weeks or months before we understand the entirety of the damage and loss of life. This will go down as one of the most destructive natural disasters in the history of mankind. The pictures of the carnage are so disturbing parental warnings are given before the news airs. In the face of this unprecedented destruction and tragedy it is easy to be overcome by the horror of it all. The human suffering is so extreme, so raw, and so real, that it touches all of us in a way that makes it feel personal. It’s so overwhelming it’s hard to know what to do to help, if there is anything to do at all. Let me be perfectly clear. The people of...
Top Five Steps to Being a World-class Flirt
So much of our contact with other people these days is completely virtual. Text messaging, Instant Messaging, Twitter, Facebook, My Space, Email, and the list goes on. There are an infinite number of ways to communicate in the virtual world. Most of us are pretty good at it. However, face to face, girl meets boy flirting is getting to be a lost art. I recently had a client tell me she’d forgotten how to actually flirt, and I believe it. I think most people feel awkward flirting. That said, practice makes perfect. Below are the top five steps to being a master flirt. Make eye contact. Smile. Hold that eye contact just a little then you normally would. I’m not suggesting a full on stare. Just maintain that eye contact a few...
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