Keep Your Story to Yourself

I have a very close friend who decided at the beginning of the year that her lifestyle choices were probably killing her. I have been so very proud of her for making some real, tangible, positive changes in her life the last several weeks. She’s eating right, she’s losing weight, she’s exercising. She has cut back on her drinking. She looks great and she feels great. Everything is fabulous except for one small little detail. Her husband, the love of her life, isn’t. He’s over indulging on all accounts. It’s making her crazy.

Recently he had a “coughing fit” so bad that it caused him to lose consciousness – for just a moment – but passed out cold, just the same. She thought he was dead. He doesn’t even remember it. As we sat on a bench, and she cried, she confessed that although he said he planned to live to 105 she knew he was going to die. Now granted, it was a horrible event. It shook her up so bad that four days later she was still crying about it. However, my question to her was, who’s story is it anyway?

Theresa thought she was “killing herself with her eating and drinking”. Andy thinks he is going to live to be 105. Law of Attraction is a tricky science when it comes crashing into our hard held beliefs. Theresa believes, and for good reason, I might ad, that over-eating, over-drinking, and smoking will lead to an early grave. There is a lot of evidence that supports those beliefs. Heck – science and medicine support those beliefs. One might easily argue they are flat out true. However, we’ve all seen exceptions to those rules. Two words – George Burns. So, in my mind, there is no question Theresa had to make some lifestyle changes, and quick. Her beliefs about her health are very strong and very well founded.

Andy on the other hand isn’t kidding or living in denial when he says he plans to live to 105. He does. I’ve heard him say it and I believe him. That is his reality. So the question is who’s reality was happening when he had this “episode”? He doesn’t even remember it. Theresa is still in a state a trauma…

When we are dealing with the people we love most it is really easy to let our deepest fears descend upon them. It is very easy to expect them to take on our stories, as if they were their own. When our stories are happy, uplifting, and empowering that’s a good thing. When they are fear driven and panic based, it’s NOT a good thing. Law of Attraction does not care about the latest science, if you don’t. It doesn’t care about what’s being reported on the news, if you don’t. The greatest gift we can give to those we love the most is to see them perfect, thriving, and whole. When we hold them in that light, it is easy for them to get there and stay there. When we look at them and feel fear and worry, you aren’t doing them any favors.

So, we will see how this story plays out. I just hope Theresa can get her story in alignment with the love of her life celebrating his 100th birthday by drinking a beer and smoking a big fat cigar with this great grandchildren. I can see it!

Lisa Hayes is the author of HOW TO ESCAPE FROM RELATIONSHIP HELL. She is a mother of two, yoga instructor, hypnotherapist, and internet project manager. Lisa likes long walks on the beach and naps. You can contact her at http://www.escapefromrelationshiphell.com.