The Case for Putting Out
I have heard it at least a dozen times this week. A woman explaining to me that she doesn’t feel like being intimate with her husband, meaning she’s not down for having sex, until she feels a stronger emotional connection with him. Maybe he’s distant and stressed. Maybe there’s been hurt that has left lingering resentment. Maybe communication is stalled and misunderstandings are plentiful. That said, for whatever reason, or no reason at all, she isn’t feeling “connected” and she isn’t putting out. How can she be expected to be physically intimate when she’s missing emotional intimacy? Joel and Katie had been married for six years. In the last twelve months they’d had sex exactly two times. The longer they went...
The Investment that Saves a Relationship
When a marriage is in trouble it takes a ton of energy. Saving a relationship that is tanking takes energy. Ending a relationship that feels beyond repair, takes a lot of energy. Sick relationships require a lot of attention no matter what the outcome is. Not to mention they are expensive in every imaginable way. I’ve ended relationships with men that I wasn’t even married to that cost me tens of thousands of dollars and left me emotionally bankrupt. Often times people put their relationships on autopilot until something goes wrong and then they start to pay attention. The challenge is in a lot of cases by the time the trouble has started it’s too late. Something has gone wrong that can’t be fixed. Not that you’re done paying. You have to then go...
How to Get That Spark Back
I could build a practice on this one question. “How do we get that spark back?” The answer is shockingly simple. Be the person you were when you had spark. It’s no secret that in the beginning of a relationship we are on our best behavior. However, a more subtle reality is that falling in love makes us feel our most alive. In that high vibration, sharply alive energy, to put it simply, it’s easy to be exciting, sexy, and engaged. Not too mention your formerly single self was doing a lot of cool and exciting things – that you may or may not do anymore. Fast forward a few months or years and in many cases that highly charged vibe wears off. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “We have bills, pets, kids, cars, jobs, and...
How to Attract Your Soulmate – for Real!
Most singles have “the list” of the qualities they want in their future mate. Before I met my husband, I certainly did. That said, the real magic to “the list” is what you do with it once you’ve completed it. I always encourage people to think about the energy of the person they are looking for. A very common list of qualities might look like this: Spiritually grounded Physically active Financially stable Joyful Honest Good with kids You get the point. Here is the magic – it’s kind of an attraction slight of hand. Once you’ve made that list, stop looking for that person and start looking for that energy. How can you get more spiritual energy in your life? How can you bring in the energy of being active, healthy, and vibrant? Where...
Affair-proof Your Relationship with Relationship Insurance
I recently read an article about employees in the workplace who were surveyed about what they wanted most from their jobs. I was surprised by the results. More employees said they wanted recognition and to be appreciated then those who stated they wanted raises or better benefits. Similarly, several months ago Oprah did a show on why men cheat, and the resounding answer was because they felt taken for granted and unappreciated. Maybe that wasn’t exactly why they cheated, but it was definitely the root of the marital dissatisfaction that made it possible. It doesn’t take rocket science to know that appreciation makes even the hardest work go by more smoothly, however, it bares some serious examination at the notion that appreciation can affair proof a...
Facebook
RSS
Twitter