The Boundary Keeper
I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine, Kelsy, who was beside herself because her recent ex-boyfriend was not respecting her boundaries. She was laying them down very clearly, but he kept crossing the line. Sometimes he was stepping on the line, sometimes he was only one foot over the line. However, quite recently he was way over the line. It wasn’t like he was stalking her exactly. However he certainly wasn’t respecting her requests for space and privacy. Every time he called when he wasn’t suppose to Kelsy would answer to tell him to stop calling. Every time he emailed just to check in she’d open it and get increasingly frustrated that he was persisting. She was seeing a therapist who told her she had to...
Interesting is Very Attractive
When I was fifteen I had a break up I thought would kill me. Sadness descended in our home with such fierceness that my father still calls it the “semester of the never ending dark night.” Finally one day my mother braved her way into my room, where I was listening to my Rick Springfield cassette tape for the 10,000th time, with a piece of inspiration I’ve carried with me all these years. “Lisa, the best revenge is to be interesting.” In typical dramatic flare she didn’t elaborate except to say one more thing, “It’s also the best way to get another boyfriend, and it’s time my dear.” As it turns out, as usual my mother was right. Although it took me a while to figure out her magic formula, when I got my head around it I ...
Confidence is the Best Cosmetic
I know a lot of women will not agree with me. I also am aware it might be wishful thinking, but I don’t think so. I have very candid conversations with a lot of men. So, I might be going out on a limb here, but I’m just going to say it. I believe the vast majority of men would rather be with a real woman, with womanly curves, who is comfortable in her skin and with her body, then a size four model type who is hiding in the dark and under the covers. Now for those of you who aren’t size four, you might not think a woman of that build has anything to hide. But trust me on this one, there are lots of neurotic skinny girls out there that don’t want to be seen naked and obsess about a couple extra ounces, let alone a couple extra pounds. A ...
5 Top Tips for Men on Valentines Day
Best case most men are intimidated by Valentines Day. Worst case they resent it. A lot of men feel like Valentines Day is a lose, lose proposition. Expectations for romance are sky high and men as a species are not super comfortable with their ability to deliver. Some men feel high-jacked by a “Hallmark” holiday. Men feel pressure to spend a lot of money and compete with the romantic displays of other men with their women. No surprise, when the Valentines Day industry encourages this. I saw an ad for flowers yesterday where a woman talked about receiving a floral super gift at work that made all the other ladies jealous. Bottom line many men feel like they are set up to fail. So, what’s a guy to do??? More importantly,...
You Know You Might Be a Booty Call If…
First of all, let me state for the record, I have no issue with the concept of booty call. If both partners are consenting, and know exactly what they’ve signed up for – great. However, it seems as though women can’t see the forest for the trees inside the booty call at times. Meaning, the man involved knows exactly what it is. He defines it by his unwillingness to take the relationship further. Her friends even know what it is. However, she wants to think there is something more serious going on, or at least hopes there might be someday if she hangs out long enough. It used to be incredibly simple. The rules around the booty call were pretty straight forward. Now things are quite as simple as they used to be. There are...
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